As global warming continues, our thoughts must all turn to one thing: Mars! It is plain even to the meanest of fools that its polar icecaps, with their precious hoards of dry ice are vital to us to replace our own. As the British Mars Exploration Programme continues its expansion, subduing more of the solar system, we will find more, wetter, cooler planets to occupy as this one dries up.
Congratulations to our scientists who have provided another great boon to humanity with the side effects of their research. Yes, just like Teflon and hydrogen fuel cells our own research has managed to create its own triumph. New Coke Zero is made entirely from the scrapings of our astronauts bodily waste disposal systems. Good work, lads!
I've just been told that an alien (most probably Martian) landing site has been detected in the Deptford area of South London. The intruders are located at www.raw-nerve.co.uk and seem to be responsible for the revamping of Marsipan's cyber home which we like a lot.
There's lots of new stuff for you to see, so get to it!